Okay, so I’m on some love kick!  But since I’m leading a missional community and many of the people involved are returning to Jesus or investigating faith the subject of love and relationships are all around us.  I find myself thinking about the difference between love, lust, infatuation, passion, desire, even obsession.

Here are some thoughts.  I’ll keep with Infatuation and Love to avoid confusion.  But I believe Love is clearly different once looked at from a distance (which is the hard part). So you could replace any word (lust, passion, desire, obsession) for Infatuation.

Infatuation is the instant desire that is in fact a primitive, biologically based drive, like hunger or sex. My wives favorite quote is “Love is friendship on fire.”  I like that.  Love is friendship that has caught fire.  It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation presents feelings of insecurity.  You are excited and eager to see them, but not genuinely happy.  There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, parts of your beloved you would rather not examine too closely for fear of spoiling the dream.

Love is at home with imperfection with quiet understanding and mature acceptance.  Love is genuine and rejoices with the truth.  It is real.  Love grows and nurtures the object of that love.  You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away.  Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres even when miles separate you.  Near or far, you know they are yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, “We must get married right away. I can’t risk losing you.”

Love says, “Be patient.  They are yours.  Plan your future with confidence.”

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are in one another’s company you are hoping it will end in intimacy.  It has a sense of self-seeking and you become easily angered when it doesn’t turn out as expected.  It can be rude.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.  You find kindness and selfless rewarding in love.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he’s away, you wonder if he’s cheating.
Sometimes you check.  Infatuation records unprovoked wrongs.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure, and unthreatened. She feels your trust and it makes her even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you’ll regret later, but love never will.

Love lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. Love never fails.