That sense of knowing one is not grand and in need of help is the model of followers of Christ.  But sometimes along the path we lose His shadow and find our own.  This makes for bad religion.  We become religious people who hate mankind, for we think ourselves one of the best of them, and we know how bad we are.  And living in our own shadows makes us very selfish.  I know this because I’ve been a pastor and looking back I realize I was not magnificent.  “Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live it is asking others to live as one wishes to live” (Oscar Wilde, The Soul of Man Under Socialism).

A true movement of Jesus will be marked by few words and a lot of living.  Jesus came living as we all should live and that caused everyone around him demanding explanation for his magnificent life.

Once I called this space church.  It felt fitting and understand as a place of worship.  But there is a danger in hiding places, worship behind closed doors, something vacillating about it.  I started a church in a home and it took the place of the church just smaller.  So we let it die.  Some people think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go.  And since Easter I feel like we’ve been letting go.  Tennessee Williams said, “There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.”

I guess I’ve departed from Christianity in search of “no certain place.”  I’m honestly looking for no certain place because I hope Jesus is in the departure.  But I still miss the shared space I once called church.

“I thought, ‘Man, is this what Jesus would do?’” said repo man Ken Falzini, after surviving a short, harrowing ride during which he clung to the hood of the Lexus he was trying to repossess from Bishop Marc Neal of Jerusalem Missionary Baptist Church in Akron, Ohio, in January.  Neal was later charged with felony assault, but his attorney told a reporter he thought it was “disrespectful” for Falzini to try to repossess a preacher’s car during Sunday services.  Falzini said Neal was “laughing” during parts of the drive, which included sharp zigzagging at speeds around 50 mph in an attempt to to dislodge Falzini from the hood.

In Britain’s Coleraine Crown Court in February, Colin Howell, convicted last year of a double murder (of his wife and his ex girlfriend’s husband), testified at his girlfriend’s trial for the same crimes that he frequently drugged her during their sex sessions.  Hazel Stewart had requested to be unconscious during sex, according to Howell, so that she would not be bothered by “Christian guilt” over the extramarital affair they were having. Stewart was convicted for the murders in March.

Austinchronicle.com MARCH 25, 2011 Pg 53

In my young mind I didn’t understand myself in relationship with sin. Who can as a child? It wasn’t until I was in college (maybe after college) that I fully began to understand Romans 7 where the connection between law and sin altogether was understood. Now I don’t completely understand these principles but I’ve come a long ways since I was seven.

First you must understand that Romans was written to both Jews and Gentiles. Those who accepted the Law of God (Jews) as truth and those (Gentiles) who consider it subsequent to faith, but both learning to trust Jesus outside everything they brought into their Christianity. Even though, the Gentiles never subscribed to the “Law” they lived with the law written on their heart, as their conscience and their conflicting thoughts that accuse or even excuse them (Romans 2:12-16).

So when its written that by dying to what once bound us (sin), we have been released from the law so that we serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code (vs. 6). Naturally it causes us to ask if the Law (Charlton Heston style Commandments) actually was more harmful than good. It is these “do’s and don’ts” that actually was intended to bring life, to make life civil between men and God. However, sin took what was beautiful, holy, and good to produce death. In following the rules I was deceived to believe I was “good” but our hearts remained the same. Yes we avoided not sleeping with our neighbor’s wife, but we still looked.

See the “law” is more than objectives, it’s spiritual – it’s in our hearts and minds beyond what is written. So we have the tangible and intangible, we are saint and sinner at the same time. We can relate when we read Romans 7:15-25 and there is the tug-a-war between spirit and mind. We show resolve, then failure, resolve then failure. We start asking ourselves “what am I doing, I do not understand what I do (v7)”. What we want to do, we don’t do, but what we hate, we do. When we do what we hate, we agree that we need a law (something in black and white). We feel stuck with ourselves. This self that does what we hate feels natural and the part that wants to do good is alien.

It’s here that you may or may not agree with me because I believe we are two different people. Our scripture calls it the sin inside us (v17… it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me). Neuroscientists tell us we have many people inside and the selves are never at the table at the same time but their all you. The one in charge at the time will never confront the others making it hard to compromise. That is why in verse 20 it reads ”Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.”

Our writer determines his a big mess (vs 24-25) but its Jesus that rescues him. It’s also established that while our mind resolves to follow God, our nature is influenced by sin. How do you do what the rest of you does not want to do? Somehow gain the upper hand of the forces inside you.

I believe to take control we must return to verse 6 “serve in the new way of the Spirit, and not in the old way of the written code.” It begins with an Odysseus Contract. Odysseus is a Greek narrative where all the crew except Odysseus (caption) filled their ears with bees wax, and Odysseus is tied to the mast so he couldn’t try to steer the ship or jump overboard to get to the sirens as they sailed by. He knew to control his poor choice in the future he made a wise decision now. Honestly the Christian’s center of gravity must shift. The Christian center of gravity should be Jesus and his power in the Holy Spirit.

I believe living in the Holy Spirit was best understood by early believers in the context of those around them. If you look at the understanding of creativity, genius, wisdom in Greece and Roman you will see they understood these qualities not as owned but borrowed. You are not considered genius, but you have genius almost as a person with you. The early Christians possibly understood the Holy Spirit not as something to own, but as person. So when we read to “serve in the way of the Spirit” and not in the old way what we’re wrestling with is “that” (whatever system you use) which identified sin for us. We know we have sinned because our system tells us as much. But to live in the Spirit is to take control of the rest of you and shack it down. You have to talk to that part of yourself and dominate the conversation. Put that sinful part against the edge of the cliff to either coerce change or death. See the Paul (the writer of the Book of Romans) was already dead in Christ, so change or jump he was already dead and reborn in God.

Maybe you feel a lot like I did as a boy, blaming everyone else on earth and in hell for your wrongdoing. But take ownership today to admit you sin, it’s all you, but in the power of the Holy Spirit put that part of yourself against the cliff, kiss him/her goodbye, and die with Christ.

I begin here because we all want to be seen.  Think about that for a moment.  Everyone around you wants to be seen and heard.  They need someone to see them, not just the external but much more the internal. They want to be heard because they too have a voice.

No story possesses this reality more than Hagar (Genesis 16).  She is an Egyptian slave and prostituted out to Abraham to have children for Sarai (Abraham’s wife).  She does become a wife of Abraham but a second class citizen, good for only childbirth.  Sarai despised Hagar and viewed her no more than a mistress.  Sarai will evidently hate her, mistreat her, and Hagar must flee.

Escape is what we do when we feel less than equal, when we don’t feel seen or heard.  But in perfect character the Lord finds Hagar.  And the all-knowing Lord asked her where did you come from and where are you going?  He noticed her and wants to converse.  But read close because he doesn’t redefine her.  She is a slave and He doesn’t tell her otherwise.  As a slave she is require to submit to Sarai, He tells her to accept this reality.  He does promise to care for her though, to increase her descendents in spite of how she got pregnant and her promise is equal to Abrahams (too numerous to count). And in his promise (vs 11-12) he communicates that He sees her condition and hears her misery.  Perhaps for the first time someone is telling her “I see you”.

Hagar relationship with God begins as one of being seen.  She gave the name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me.”  She named her son Ishmael which means “God hears,” this Egyptian slave finds God and knows what it feels like to be seen and heard. Clearly the story would be better if God removed her from the house of Abraham, made her a princess, and rich beyond her imagination – but there is something honest about God in keeping her a slave.  Why honest? God came to into her story.  He didn’t rewrite her present position, He gave her a future.  This new future depended on how she dealt with her present. Something reassuring that God comes into my story instead of taking me into His.

Do you feel seen?

Last week I wrote about another Abraham – Lincoln.  What I didn’t mention was he had four sons, but three died before their 20th birthday.  Robert Lincoln (his oldest son) was the only surviving heir.  I reference this fact because our Bible personality was marked by blessing and some say Robert Lincoln was marked by death.

Not only was he subject to his young brothers all dying, Robert was sort of a magnet for presidential assassination tragedy.  While he was not present when his father was killed, he was an eyewitness to Garfield’s assassination and at the same World’s Fair where McKinley was assassinated.  Another interesting fact about Robert, he was saved from a train accident by Edwin Booth, the brother of his father’s killer, John Wilkes Booth.

Causes one to wonder about their own destiny.  You only have to read Roman 9-10 to be reminded that God has more control and life has much more providence then we would like to allow it. This isn’t to say that Christ’s actions on the cross haven’t changed everything, but it does imply God has the end in mind.

Do you feel predestined for anything?

Lincoln had premonitions and dabbled in the occult of his day.  I don’t believe he believed in it, but he at least went along with it.  After the death of two of his sons at young ages, he and his wife actually held séances in the White House trying to contact them, whether or not they made contact is unknown.  Much like Saul maybe Lincoln was looking for answers (1 Chronicles 10:13).

Even though Lincoln doesn’t fit your typical Christian he had a level head in relation to God.  What I would like to focus shortly on is that he never made the issues (war, slavery, human rights) about God.  He was quoted as saying “In great contests, each party claims to act in accordance with the will of God. Both may be, and one must be wrong. God cannot be for and against the same thing at the same time. (Abraham Lincoln, memorandum dated September 30, 1862)”

This quote is very interesting because at this time both sides claimed to be acting on behalf of God and both claimed that God’s support would ensure their victory.  Lincoln was wise enough to note that if both sides in the war were claiming God’s favor at least one must be wrong and that included his own side.  This insight can be expanded to any number of conflicts. German soldiers in World War II wore belt buckles that read “Gott Mit Uns” (God with Us), but was he? Islamic militants who kidnap and behead Westerners claim to be acting in accordance with the will of God, but are they? Everyone who commit violence against other human beings, seems to claim to have the backing of God (maybe they feel the need to have the highest possible authorization for their utmost violence), but they can’t all be correct, can they?

Lincoln didn’t exchange in the economy of God because he placed himself under God and not the other way around.  Perhaps, we need to recognize that we could be on the wrong side of what God is doing. We would do well to apply ourselves to what God is doing and not dictating to God what He should be doing.

I think the gospel calls for us to go much deeper than not coveting.  I believe it calls for us to share what we have.  I’m not talking about charity or compassion; because these place the charitable and the compassionate in the seat of authority.  I believe at the heart of the gospel is the deep truth of sharing.

You could begin much earlier in the story but I believe none more powerful than when Israel shared the Passover (Ex 12.4), Moses shared leadership (Ex 18.22), or the Lord shared what was His with the priest (6.18, 7.28).  Israel was commanded to share wealth equally (Deut 18.8) and not to imitate other nations (18.9), to share when you have more than others (Josh 19.9).  Proverbs 22.9 says were blessed when we share with the poor and Isaiah 58.6-8 calls for true fasting which involves sharing.  When you reach the New Testament, Jesus is talking about sharing when you have more than enough (Luke 3.11) and when you share you do it unto Him (Matt 25.36).

When you look at the original believers in light of the God story it becomes clear why they shared.  Acts 4.33 says, “No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.”  I love the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10 because it’s a truly raw spiritual conversion.  Jesus comes into Jericho where Zacchaeus lived.  He was in charge of collecting taxes and was very rich.  Jesus tells him He wants to stay with him that day.  Zacchaeus gladly welcomed Jesus into him home.  Of course, everyone who saw this started grumbling because Zacchaeus was considered a sinner and Jesus went home to eat with him.  The text says that by days end Zacchaeus stood up and said to Jesus (but the text uses Lord), “I will give half of my property to the poor. And I will now pay back four times as much to everyone I have ever cheated.” Jesus said to Zacchaeus, “Today you and your family have been saved.”  It’s here that we are reminded that Jesus came to look for and to save people who are lost.

Zacchaeus response was to return four times what he stole and share half his wealth with those with less. Jesus identified this action as a sign of salvation.  Even Zacchaeus’ salvation was shared.  I think there is something very important we can miss here.  It is that followers of Jesus are connected in a much deeper why to Him and each other than we can understand.  And I think it is no accident Jesus chose a shared meal to convey salvation to Zacchaeus’ household (Luke 19.9) and his disciple to remember the Last Supper.

At the center of salvation is sharing.  Sharing is the most pure, simple, and extravagant endeavor of the believer. And the most elaborate way of sharing is in the Lord’s Supper as an actual shared meal.  The Lord’s Supper is the Christians most profound and formative symbol.  But when we share a meal together it is never just a symbol.  It is always spent together, being mutually built up, and sharing life together.  And when we share the Lord’s Supper as an actually meal we are rediscovering something important about ourselves.  That church isn’t just a series of events or religious rituals; it is sharing our life.

Fairness is a value that the deprived appreciate.  You didn’t hear a Wall Street broker shouting in the streets they’ve earned too much.  You didn’t see any selfless CEO giving back money.  And no one cried unfair until it transcended their self-interest (our taxes paid their million dollar salary).  We expect when we share everyone enjoys equally and that didn’t happen with our Bank Bailouts.

Maybe that is why we find the Somalia Pirates actions so offensive?  They are stealing and committing crimes with no concern for others.  But they are sharing.  The people of Somalia do not fault the Somalia Pirates with wrong because they benefit from their piracy.  Life in Somalia is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.  With no help from anyone else, piracy improves their economy.  The on-shore spending has re-stocked their stores, provided job opportunities, and allows full days of electricity once an unimaginable luxury.  Even neighboring Kenya reports their largest catches in forty years, catching hundreds of kilos of fish and earning fifty times the average daily wage as a result.  They attribute the abundance to the pirates scaring away large fishing fleets.

We would agree there is something wrong with the misuse of wealth and the mistreatment of those without.  We expect everyone to be fair.  Jesus even had a parable regarding this in the Kingdom of God.  In the parable the owner of a vineyard rounded up laborers at different times of the day.  Early in the morning, they went out to find laborers, offering each 1 denarius.  But he offered the same to those hired later in the day.  The workers hired first thing in the morning expected to get more since they had worked through the heat of the day, yet the owner didn’t feel he owed them any more than he had originally promised.

It should not surprise you that this sense of fairness, the attribute of “share and share alike” (to give equal shares to all) is not exclusive to humans.  From monkeys to parrots to dogs you can find different degrees of sense of injustice.  I expect it to be found in all social animals; however, this sense of fairness does not stretch beyond egocentric interests.  Except in humans where every society is keenly aware of the risk that inequality poses to the social fabric of their society.

This is what makes the gospel unique.  What is fairness if not the absence of prejudice toward self?  The plan of God was to save ALL people by way of Israel and this message was complete through Christ and carried out by His followers.  The disciple is the one who is more concerned with the “other,” free from favor toward either or any side. The disciple is the one who finds a way to eliminate themselves (feelings and desires) to hold the other equally important, perhaps more important.  The gospel calls for us to love others as we love ourselves. There is no place in the disciples’ heart for “fair” or “equal” because our love must transcend self-interest.

(In the next post we’ll look at what the Bible says about sharing)