Paul said it was better to be single (1 Cor 7.7-8), Jesus said if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.
I live in Texas. There is an act called “Common-Law Marriage” that allows two consisting adults to call themselves married if they show evidence that they publicly recognize each other as wife/husband. Other people can also testify to the same effect. Another way is with legal documents (i.e. leases signed as husband and wife, tax returns filed jointly as a married couple, and insurance policies listing one person as the other person’s spouse).
What defines marriage? Does a certificate make you married? Can two people who live together, committed to each other for life, be considered married? Is marriage a private issue between two people or calls on the support of the whole community?
The disciples in reaction to Jesus’ view of marriage and divorce were shocked and responded by saying, “If those are the terms of marriage, we’re stuck. Why get married? (Matt 19.10)” Those are pretty strong words for followers of Christ. But you have to consider their worldview of marriage. Moses permitted divorce and Jews practiced divorce. God viewed marriage for a lifetime, divorced provided a way out.
Jesus’ view of marriage was different and He called people to return to its original purpose. Husband and wife become one flesh in marriage - no longer two bodies but one. Because God created this organic union of the two sexes, no one should desecrate His art by cutting them apart. The only exception was where the spouse committed adultery. It was this view of marriage that caused the disciples’ response.
Jesus said in Matthew 19.11-12, “Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn’t for everyone. Some, from birth seemingly, never give marriage a thought. Others never get asked-or accepted. And some decide not to get married for kingdom reasons. But if you’re capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it.”
What classifies marriage? How should we identify marriage? Every culture is different - marriage is as simple as a piece of paper and a state seal in some places, while others involve a week long celebration calling on the community’s participation.
This week Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi got married in Beverly Hills. Most twenty something live with their partner before taking marriage vows. Professing Christians have a higher rate of divorce then unchristians. Somewhere we lost the meaning of marriage.
I believe Jesus had a deeper view of love, sex, marriage, even family than we do. Can we grow into the largeness of marriage? I mean cultivate a culture where marriage is more than paper and people. The early Christians viewed marriage as “marry then love”, not “love then marry.” Marriage was a choice for life before feelings had anything do with it. One didn’t test drive the relationship or chose a partner based of emotions. Love can fade, Lust deceives, and Life changes.
Marriage is a commitment to stay when you don’t feel loving, give more then you receive, and disregard the option of divorce when life changes. If you need a piece of paper (and you do in most places) to demonstrate your vow then so be it. The really question is: can you capable of growing into the largeness of marriage?









